I should be working on refining my script and yet I am puttering from distraction to distraction.
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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# Pieces Written
Scripts - 3
4 if you count re-writing Sleeping Beauty, Hillbilly-style, in High School
Novels- 1 + .1 + .7
Can I count my 14 or so mentally composted story ideas? No? Drat.
Short Stories - 2
I'll say two officially, so far (one of those still needs to be typed up)... I lost at least 2 of my old ones and I've wiped the slate clean.
Poems- 3...4? 42?
I won awards for 3. After that I lost count.
4 if you count re-writing Sleeping Beauty, Hillbilly-style, in High School
Novels- 1 + .1 + .7
Can I count my 14 or so mentally composted story ideas? No? Drat.
Short Stories - 2
I'll say two officially, so far (one of those still needs to be typed up)... I lost at least 2 of my old ones and I've wiped the slate clean.
Poems- 3...4? 42?
I won awards for 3. After that I lost count.
9 comments:
Evi . . . Are you ADD? I'm looking at your two blogs and getting the impression I'm dealing with a fellow ADHD'er. If not - too bad. Now I have to read through this whole frenetic series of postings to find out about your script writing adventure.
I'm very excited that you're going for it.
Weeeeell...
I don't generally consider myself ADD but I think it fits. I can alternately focus ruthlessly or not at all.
The script writing is interesting, for sure. And exactly what I should be doing right now but alas I am not.
The script writing is a break from the novel writing. It scares me to go for it and it even scares me to win. If nothing else it's great to force myself to write something I'm not totally comfortable tackling. Forced growth.
I have been encouraged and even threatened to write for most of my life. Consequently, I have run the other way.
Then, I need to sit back and examine some important truths:
1) I am constantly searching for an audience
2) When everything else crumbles and all that remains is ashes and twigs and rent fabrics I find myself dipping the twigs in the ash and scribbling furiously on the fabric scraps
3) I'm a natural observer of nearly everything and have no excuse not to focus that and FINISH a writing project
The wisest counsel I ever received was that I was afraid of success. As long as I procrastinate or stall completing something because it isn't perfect I will not have to contend with the responsibilities and obligations that success would necessitate.
Also, do not become addicted to approval to induce you to work on your craft. That cripples me even as I write this to you.
I am struggling to break free from my self-inflicted hang-ups concerning writing.
I know there is the need to look away and get a stimulus break at regular intervals during the work but simplifying your schedule, routine, number of projects and distractions is a GOOD thing.
You've already decided I am older and more experienced than you so I am going to insist you listen to your elders. :)
Heart and desire beat knowledge and experience a significant amount of the time. People throw what you and I might describe as "crap" to be consumed by the public all of the time; and the people devour it while we struggle to write the perfect work.
Take advantage of youthful exuberance and throw caution to the wind. I recommend making a running leap, with your eyes wide open, and enjoy the whole frightening experience.
Wish me luck come June 'cuz this girl is definitely jumping. And I'm scared to death but unwilling to dwell more than short moments on all the things that could stand in my way.
As for focus - I have this script, the novel and an ongoing Bones fanfiction. Toss in 2 blogs, assisting my mom with her side business and general ADD and you have a right mix of confusion there.
I desperately want to finish the fan fiction. I feel constricted by the audience. They want quick fixes of Bones and Booth fluff. My last chapter was around 1300 words and I really wanted to make it more like 10,000. It's been a great experience in helping me spread my wings and try new thing and it's important to consider the audience and I do...but sometimes that consideration leads you to realize the audience is choking you.
I'll listen to you and I'll probably pick your brain, but I may or may not, in the end, do as you bid! :)
Cool by me. The one thing that is choking me is the lack of involvement with other creative types.
I am extremely extroverted and, for the most part, a social vampire. I suck the life out of people as the encounter energizes me and my enthusiasm and hodge-podge interests and conversational leaps exhaust them.
I have this secret escape to imagining a cafe or patio somewhere breezy, near water, where Hemingway, Twain, Emily Dickinson, Chaucer, Robert Frost, Mozart, George Gershwin, Van Gogh, Picasso and other such characters congregate and share a drink or a meal or a smoke and all observe the world around then and converse on the same topic but each goes off and interpret and express what they experienced in entirely different ways.
I have a real hunger for that sort of meeting of the minds and souls to spark creativity and birth ideas. Perhaps I'll create a little blog cafe to do just that?! It's not as good as face to face but it's a start.
I'd like to thank you, too, Evi. You're enthusiasm is refreshing. And if you actively complete your projects I might be sufficiently embarrassed into completing some of mine.
Just imagine . . . even though so many other hands might get involved in modifying your script you would still be the impetus for an idea becoming a tangible thing. You could experience your thoughts stimulating the activity of an entire industry and spawning a unique entity into being.
I'm going to assume you've read my "Why Write" post and not rehash it completely but you've hit on exactly why I write. I have this insane need to 'make' things. Writing isn't the only expression of that but it's by far my favorite. I can't quite get my art to turn out like I want but with words I can reshape as long as needed and know that I *can* make them into what I'm desiring to express and create.
You might would find me a disappointment in person. There's a reason my blog is called Articulate on PAPER. You suck the life out of others through extroversion and I'd have to say that my introversion, in many ways, does the same. Nothing makes people uncomfortable in quite the same way as a person who's quite observation turns them into chatterboxes who simply must fill the silence.
I really hope you do complete your projects. I think our differences can spur each of us into motion!
I am a left-handed, extroverted, first-born, male, with such an extreme case of ADHD that I am confirmed as "off the charts." In other words - the whole cosmos revolves around me and is there for my amusement. We'll be perfect friends, consequently.
All of my friends are introverted, thoughtful, tempered souls, that wish they had my . . . [list any number of attributes] but, No, they really shouldn't wish that at all. I understand the truly dangerous, manipulative minds of a Rasputin or Manson but refuse to entertain such abuse of power. All of my friends are loyal - that is - those which have endured my erratic outbursts or wild flights of fancy. They have endured endless hours of frustration where I have not conceded to their opinion and they have my undying respect and devotion.
I like to play with people's heads and am quite adept at setting up scenarios just to see if people will respond as I've predicted - but I will not deliberately or spitefully hurt anyone. That's probably why my username is ADDhole - a friend suggested that.
In complete contrast, I have always been the father confessor/group counselor. I heard more intimate details and knew more about women than any man my current age (46) should know when I was twelve. I always dated women 5 to 10 years my senior but married a woman only 6 months older and was happy ever after until she divorced me five years ago. I haven't had a relationship, since. If you want to see how well that's going for me just read my blog entries.
That is all mentioned because all of those were the influences for my creative expression - especially getting the attention of women. I know that most people are drained or a little put off by crowds but I look for the stage and the microphone. I am fast on my feet and the more chaotic or dynamic the environment the more focused and on fire I become. So, now I am without any of my precious stimuli and am trying to take, what for me, is a walk on the wild side and live like you quiet, introspective types.
Very uncomfortable and scary.
The grass is definitely greener. I don't feel that there's a lot of things others wish to copy from me (you have 'issues' so can I! :)). I know the downsides of what others might consider my enviable attributes. In the same way you could answer me with unconsidered consequences when I say in all truthfulness that I would LOVE to be on fire in front of a crowd!
I wouldn't warn you about the consequences. I'd tell you to go for it.
Being an extrovert is nothing more than taking a thousand tiny, incremental steps, from where you are comfortable and mostly sure of your footing, to the uncertain, exciting unknown.
I do not encourage closing one's eyes or using anesthesia of any kind. Those tiny steps are a chance to momentarily feel the rush of doubt meet the unsure sense of being able to support and balance oneself. As an introvert, you then have the opportunity to collect those moments and find strength in their memory. Not all risk is a hazardous gamble. You need to take action to explore limitations. Just because a boundary gives way does not ensure one will fall.
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